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Thursday, August 4th, 2005
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7:09 pm - OH MAN
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HOLY SHIT!!!
Im back, but i guess i lied about this big update... well i had this whole word document typed, that explained almost everything halfway through second semester, BUT its back in holland right now on the University computers, which will probably get deleted within the next i dunno month or so...
So what can i say, sorry i gues for not putting in any entries. what im also sorry about is all these freinds that i have that i dont really talk to anymroe because ive been away. So i apologize deeply, and i hope we can still be friends, whoever you are.
Well; what has happened to me? I dunno, i came back from holland. Concisely speaking, europe fuckin kicks ass. Its come to the point where all i can think about is going back. But no, i got a life here, and my pleasure cruise is over. Im sure once i started actually becoming a european citizen, it would stop being fun i guess. I would have to actually work, and eventually get used to that style of living so much that id miss home again. plus i miss free refills way too much. In any case, its still great to be back, the weathers great, my friends and family are happy to see me, and i dont feel like a lazy fuckin slob anymore.
HMMMM, maybe ill do another one of those bullet entries to really briefly go over what happened second semester. 'IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!! Its pretty lame actually, most of it involves beer. okay.... fuck:
-My sister visited, had lots of beer, rolled a joint with her for the first time and felt really weird.
-Spent christmas in belgium with my good friend, riks family. very very "gezellig". We walked through the forest.
-Traveled by bus to Bulgaria. OH MAN i spent like 2 weeks writiing an entry for bulgaria, but fuck its gone now. :( spent newyears partied, got drunk, threw food, carried drunk friend to taxi. saw roman ruins, good friends from my univierstiy, cheap food, and lots and lots of gypsees. ahhh bulgarian girls
-Played ice hockey for the first time, destroyed little 8 year old dutch kids on the rink, although one checked me into the wall, and actually pinned me there.
-Became a "parent" for welcome week and showed new kids how to drink like a proud/free american.
-Good friend marian from scotland/irvine came and visited. visited the anne frank house in amsterdam. Had stroop wafels, which she calls "stupin pancakes".
-Me and my friends decided to become party crew and through parties while alternating whos unit to throw it in. themes included alcoholics anonymous, and Irish party. fun fun.
-More amsterdam, amsterdam, amsterdam.
-BARTENDER WEEKEND, became a campus bartender, and participated in weekend of as-much-as-you-can-drink beer for 5 euros. My team won the pitcher chugging contest. ahh german girls... er girl.
-Went to Karnival in Den Bosch! a local festival celebrated in southern holland, where everybodyt dresses up and gets totally wasted in bars and clubs. Wore my province flag as a cape and got strange looks. Had to take care of drunken friend/fuckin-tool after being rejected by close to 40 women (accurate statistic). Basically it was like halloween and marti gras combined, except less titties.
-It began to snow in Utrecht. It piled so high that, my friends hadnt even seen it that way in their entire lives. snow ball fights ensued, and we also picked a snowball fight with highschoolers who were using our campus bar for a party. fuckin highschoolers
-IRISH PARTY, for st patties day. slipped on some beer and fell falt on my ass. danced to irish folk afterwards
-My bro jeff visited. rolled joint with him for first time. and yes, WEIRD. had lots of fun though.
-Went to my UCU prom. got hella fuckin wasted for 35 euros, and had as much fun as i had beer and wine. My friend got slapped in the face by some asshole dutch guy, and my and my friend rik almost got into a quarrel with him. the girls loved my suit, especially the dutch ones, ahhhhhhh.
-went to Paris! Saw everything that you needed to see in a full day. the Louvre was the shit.
-Guys night. the guys in charge brought a stipper to our campus bar and my friend diego got brought up to get a lapdance from her in front of all the guys. She stepped on his nuts
-Queens day. Or horribly horribly dutch day. Everyone dresses orange and parties and dances to really bad techno music in the streets. Strolled through amsterdam/the craziness.
-Left for Prague, lots of cheap beer, hot czech girls, and cool buildings. saw a church made of stacks and sculptures of human bones.
-Wemt to Rome. Met up with crazy fuckin guys from the valley. Drank good wine, went to the colliseum for free, hit on the dutch hostel worker.
-Went to san sebastian Spain. The entire time relied on my shitty spanish. Went to the beach, bars, enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Later spent dawn in Valladolid, waited in the train station with FUCKED UP homeless poeple.
-Came back to school only to say good bye to my friends only a week after. was really sad. people got emotional. Made the walk through the gate at the aiport and waved my really good friends off goodbye.
-Now im back, and ive started working construction again. yes, im lifting drywall, hammering nails, and drinking cerveza and talking about las chicas.
-emailing girlfriend in holland. :(
-Boredom :(
So that list is nowwhere near exciting as it can get with the detail i can get into. but im just plain lazy, To all the people that read this, i want to get to talkin with you again.
-lovedavey
current mood:  bored
current music: watskebeurt
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| Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
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3:09 am - 21 b-day
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SOOOOOOOO.... today im legally allowed to drink in the states. Too bad my 21st birthday is kinda nullified seeing how i could get as much alcohol as i wanted starting August of last year, BUT im glad i have some more freedoms when i get back to the states.
And for those of you that have been curious... an unreasonably big update is coming soon.
Tot ziens
-love davey
current mood:  drunk
current music: whoa... tom waits
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| Friday, December 31st, 2004
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3:47 pm - Yo ho
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| Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
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6:15 pm
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SOOO Christmas is on its way and i got an extremely busy agenda for the coming weeks!
First let me tell you about a national pre Christmas holiday here in Holland called "SINTERKLAAS” which literally means Santa clause. That’s right, Santa gets his own holiday here and this is the day that all the gift exchanges are made and such. Unfortunately it has already past as they officially celebrate Sinterklaas on December the 5th. So people basically people have to start worrying about Christmas shopping way earlier in the year.
So who is Sinterklaas? Well Santa here is in the form of catholic priest. No, he doesn’t molest children. He comes from Spain by boat every Sinterklaas to come deliver presents to everyone. Unlike Santa Claus back at home who delivers presents all by himself, Sinterklaas delivers presents with the help of slaves from Africa. The most famous characteristic slave’s name is Zwarte Pete, or “Black Pete.” Black Pete also carries a sack and assists Sinterklaas in delivering gifts, especially for children. Now many people think I’m joking but I assure you I’m not.
So Sinterklaas and Zwarte Pete are responsible for delivering presents in the middle of the night. Traditionally, every Sinterklaas, they also bring these very small gingerbread cookies called “pepernoten” or ‘pepper nuts’. Nothing really specialy about those accept fot eh fact that they are just little ginger bread cookies. Lots of people dress up as zwarte pete like they would santa clause back in America. Let me just tell you that sinterklaas would probably not fly in America. Today, black pete is said to be black because he comes down the chimney. What they don’t really explain are where his dreadlocks come from. In any case now you know they celebrate Christmas here in Holland
My winter break just started last week. After a long freakin 3 days straight of writing essays from 10AM all the way to 12AM give or take a couple of hours, I am ready to just chill and relax. Sadly, all my friends have gone home to their respective homes around Holland and the rest of Europe, while im stuck here on campus. I also have to cook for myself, but all im eating is tostis and bread with chocolate paste on it. Christmas is coming, and this will be the first Christmas im spending away from home, so this should be quite interesting.
Fortunately my sister, Mina, is flying all the way from California just to come spend Christmas with me. Fuck, I couldn’t have asked for a better sister. Im actually going to pick her up at the Airport tomorrow in Amsterdam.
After my sister my sister leaves right before new year me and 2 of my friends are going to hitch a bus to snowy Bulgaria! Were predicted to be on the road for about 50 hours, and then we will meet up in the capital city of Sofia. So as far as I know, Bulgaria is a pretty crazy place. I here bulgarian girls are really hot, and best of all theyre sluts!!…. anyways, were going to spend as much as two weeks there. Best of all, its gonna be REALLY fucking cheap. The Bulgarian economy is taking quite a nosedive, and the buying power of the dollar is still pretty strong. So that’s what im doin.
well, to all my friends and family back at home:
VROLIJK KERSTDAAG EN EEN GELUKKIG NIEUWJAAR!!
(And if you dont knowwhat this means then youre a fucking retard. Just kidding)
-Love Davey
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| Thursday, December 9th, 2004
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4:53 pm - $€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$€$
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My little red girls bike just got stolen about a couple days ago. And if you have read a couple entries back, you know the bike was a total peice of shit. But i payed freakin 50 Euros for it and i also spent about 20 euros for locks. So therefore i kinda miss it. It got me around everywhere i needed to go. IT didnt give me too many problems and it was easy to ride.
Now i gotta find a new bike. So what i can do is go to the central station here at night and look for a crackhead or a heroine junky to sell a stolen bike for as little as one Euro. Now before, i had a huge problem with doing this. I didnt want to perpetuate the chain of bikes getting stolen and support junkies habits. But now i realize that its pretty much inevitable. My friend tells me that dutch people do it all the time. Also, most of the American kids here went and got their bikes from a crackhead.
To add to my financial burdens, i have about 500 Euros in hospital bills. The worst part about all these stupid hospital payments is that they didnt shit for me when i fucked up my ankel. Everytime i went to the doctors, they just gave me either bad advice or told me that they didnt know what to do. None of them actually treated my injury with like a cast, or a leg splint, or even just plain tape. So now i have to fill out all these insurance forms for nothing, and best of all,I just found out i dont get reimbursed fully unlike the rest of the students here.
What makes things worse is that my financial aid aint really ocming through. I have so many questions for the financial aid office back in Irvine, and yet they dont respond back to my emails. Its funny because they say "if you have any questions please email your Education abroad financial aid counselor lameass@uci.edu." So even when i put the heading "URGENT" in my subject, they still dont really seem to care to read it.
And to top things all off the EURO is raping the DOLLAR. Ideally the euro(€) and the dollar($) should be about equal. unfortunatly now each €1 for me cost me about $1.31. And prices arent necessarily cheaper. In fact you cant get a burger for €1 like you can in the states at $1. Nor can you ever get a drink with free refills. god do i miss free refills.
ON the plus side however BBC news has concluded that the "Dollar makes gains against euro".
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4080667.stm
THE DOLLAR HAS GOTTEN STRONGER BY 1 CENT!!!!!! oh man! bust out the keg!!*sarcasm*
€ love davey €
current mood: stressed
current music: shit i dunno
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| Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
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3:00 pm - Missed but not forgotten...
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Pongo,
-I remember when my mom first bought you in exchange for 5 free haircuts to some guy canoga park. We picked you as our second choice out of your litter of puppy's because we couldnt get this other dog with a spot on his eye. We were still so happy with our choice though. No other puppy looked like you. I brought you back to my moms shop while you were sleeping on my shoulder. The vietnamese manicurist lady freaked out as to how cute looking you were. You were chewing on my finger and your teeth were so sharp at the time. We brought you home to our apartment where pets aren't allowed and fed you milk. You cried all night and diarrhea'd all over the rug. You were officially my first dog ever.
-You shit everywhere. I always had to spread papers all over the balcony and clean up the whole place after only a week or two. I also had to clean your shit from the rug too.
-You were always so friendly. Never once did you bite a person because you were angry. When you begged at the table you put your head on our lap.
-You loved table scraps, so we always gave them to you. Anything we gave to you, you would inhale and not chew. So doc insisted on cutting everything up into tiny peices and feeding them to you. He thought it made you happier
-In elementary school, you always slept in my room because my mom didnt want you in the house or in her room. It was funny because you always jumped up on my bed and rolled over so that i had no more room to put my legs. Later you scratched the hell outta my door because you didnt want to sleep in my room anymore. Mom was pissed.
-Whenever doc and mom fought, i always ran into the dark living room to hide and listen. You always there to lick my face whenever i was crying. I always felt like you were sad for me, when really you just like the taste of salt.
-You were always itching to leave the house and crap in teh neighbors yard accross the street. It was all out war to keep you behind our front door. I seldom took you for a walk because anything small animal that moved you ran after and ended up choking yourself with the leash.
-You always used to steel an avocado from the neighbors tree and bring them back. You also brought us back dead rats from the garage. When you brought back Mina's lost tortoise in your teeth after being missing in the back yard for like 3 days, we thought you were the coolest dog ever. And then one day you picked it back up and brought back out there and lost it again for a short period of time.
-You were always afraid of the water. You never really went swimming with me. Althought i remember always going swimming and you running around the side barking your fukcing brains out playfully. Then you go in on second step of the pool, and drinking a whole bunch of water because you were so damn exhausted.
-You always had sticky shit in your fur. Whenever you itched, you always ran into the bushs and dragged yourself across the branches. You were dirty as hell.
-The blue steel stud collar was your trademark collar for the longest time. It made you look fucking tough. When you got afflicted with that big ass bump on your nose, you seemed to not let it get to you. You just kept on going.
-You were so spoiled. You always got what you wanted. You would never stop scratching on the door until you were let inside, even when you had tons of mud on your feet. And you werent too happy about sharing your long held space when the two other dogs came to live with us.
-Most of all i miss those times where you just plain wanted affection from people. Youd always beg to be pet and sometimes you just wanted to plain chill on my lap, not really knowing how much you weighed and crushing my nuts with your elbow.
Good bye, doggy. You were the companion of my youth, and all the good memories wont ever stop making me feel good about my life. I promise.
-love davey
current mood:  melancholy
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| Friday, November 26th, 2004
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10:16 pm - Winter is coming...
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Yeah so i just quoted one of my favorite books to say that the cold has hit us pretty hard, and pretty early. Its come to the point where you really cant walk to class with out a heavy jacket and a hat. And whats funny is that walking to class only requires you to be outside for a max of 3 mins. When i breathe it, the airs so chilled it hurts my lungs. A good dutch phrase that i learned goes liek this:
"Mijn bollen bevriezen!"
or
My balls are freezing
Well i guess its not really that cold, its probably just me being a southern california kid trying to make it in the extremely cold and wet weather. ALthough most of my dutch friends DO say that its now unreasonably cold for a typical november. I remember riding my bike into town to go to a bar with some friends while it was extremely cold and pooring gallons of rain. I was wearing jeans, and i can recall my thighs being so fucking cold i felt like i was gonna freeze, keel over on my bike, and shatter like Wesley Snipes in the movie Demolition Man (btw what a great fucking movie!).
Well i have been surviving the cold better than i thought, so i decided to travel around and not let the cold stop me. I recently went to Rotterdam with some friends. In case you didnt know heres a brief history lesson of the city of rotterdam. In world war II, The netherlands took the allies side, and were one of the first countries to combat the Nazi's. Hitler, still having shit loads of ammunition stockpiled from his ascent to power, decided to display his power at the beginning of the War and completely laid waste to the city of Rotterdam with bombers. The city wasnt just destroyed, it was wiped out. Rotterdam was basically an example set for the dutch, with the nazis saying, if you keep fighting us, all your fucking cities will end up like this one. So they surrendered.
Rotterdam is now made of new buildings, there are shopping centers everywhere, big industrial plants, and tons of tall commercial business buildings like new york city. The bad side is is that theres lots of crime. Explainably, this is also the place with the highest minority population as well in holland. On a saturday me and some friends decided to take the train to rotterdam central and head to the Dutch China Town. It was really interesting, and i kinda felt like i was back in LA. We went to a restaurant whihc served really nice food. This is where I got the opportunioty to eat chicken feet. Yeah, the feet of the chicken, declawed, and boiled. When you pick it up, its still looks like foot. Its rubbery textures also makes it move just like a foot too. However, me being the guy that pretty much eats everything edible in front of him, I gladly ate it. No biggy, its really rubbery, and it didnt taste very good.
Yesteraday the EAP program paid for a thanksgiving dinner with turkey, stuffing and everyhting. It suprised me as to houw much money they put into the event. The room we ate in was exclusive to California students, there was wine available to us, the food was exquisite, and the room was decorated with candles and other expensive cliche shit.
Soon after me and my friends attended this bar quiz contest called the campus pub quiz. ITs basically a trivia contest, just like the one you see on Aqua teen. We have attended everyone and have gotten really competitive. All of my friends formed two teams of five and we both won 1st and 3rd. My team got a bottle of martini while the other first place bastards won a full bottle of Jack Daniels.
Tonight i just performed for the rest of campus. My friends started a band here, began writing music, and they asked me to play with them. Tonight i played bass for our band at what was known as the international kitchen, where people from different countries can cook some exotic ehtnic dish for everyone to eat. I had tons of fun, and i also tried my best to look cool dacning around on teh stage. but the truth is, i hate playing bass. I think its the boringest, useless peice of shit instrument ever. i always think of the bass player as just one step up from the fucking roadie of the band. He just tags along and plays most riffs that most people cant really hear. I screwed up like crazy tonight, but nobody cares, im the bass player!
Well tonight, im supposed to get a whole bunch of free beer. I also have a fucking 4000 word essay due in about 2 days! hooray for beer
lovedavey
P.S. To all my friends and family that have decided to stop responding to all my emails. namely... all of you. FUCKING THANKS ALOT!!
"Jij kan een grote kool nemen, en neuken het!!"
just kidding, i actually dont have time for lots of emails, but i dont like feeling so distant from home because i DO miss it.
current mood: stressed
current music: nothing
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| Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
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4:36 pm - Wahoo, I am in apparent danger
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Do any of you guys know about the murder of Theo Van Gogh? Well apparently the high tension between the native dutch versus the foreigner population here have been escalating for a while, and now were starting to see some people let off some of that heat in the form of violence. There are over 1 million muslims living here in Holland, and most of them are of turkish and morrocan descent. Muslims are now being murdered which was triggered by radical muslims deciding to shoot a film director while riding his bike. I heard a story from a guy who was walking out of macdonalds and he just saw a muslim guy stabbed just like that. Poor schools with turkish and morrocan children are being bombed. Its kinda crazy...
The American Consulate General has now warned me and all the other exchange students to excersize extreme "caution". We are not to partake in rallys and make evident that we are from america, in that we will be at risk to muslim (or anit muslim) radicals. This is all too strange.
From my experience here, every dutch or resident that i talk to has always had a bad experience with a turk or Morrocan. My friends dad was held up with a knife by a morrocan guy. Another friend of mine got beat up by 3 morrocan guys in a park after falling from his bicycle. Some girl said that she is always approached by a morrocan guy on the street who always harrasses her and shit. Nothing bad ever really happened to me though accept for when these morrocan kids were screaming "nee how!" at me. but i just laughed and ignored em. Im not doubting any of that shit happened, but the name turk, morrocan has always been thrown around, and so nationality, and culture is the first item that people think with heinous acts committed by those people.
The netherlands have always wanted to integrate with their migrant communities but it wasnt all so happy go lucky. Sure theres lots of cultures beginning to mix, overlap and bleed into eachother, but on the whole Im thinking that the foreigners are still isolated. But really who could blame them? Here i cant get even a job doing manual labor if i dont speak proper fluent dutch. Im just an exchange student. I can only imagine how hard it is for a turk or a morrocan from a poor economic background to find a well paying job.
No doubt the netherlands has always been a culture with strong ideals of tolerance. But theres quite a few dutch people still think that the 'foreigner' population is COMPLETELY at fault for their own failure to integrate. and thats pretty much the problem. Lots of people got this built up rage from the past years, and now their directing it in all the wrong places. I read an article saying that often dutch people will always refer to an "us" (being the dutch) vs "them" (the foreigners) situation. And who can blame the native dutch either? its so easy to recall experiences when a dark skinned person was rude to you. What my basic take on this situation is, is that both the dutch and foreigners have built up aggression against eachother and now their unleashing all for the wrong reasons.
So thats my take on race and ethnicity here in teh Netherlands.
lata
-lovedave
current mood:  calm
current music: muse
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| Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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5:02 pm - America...
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Yesterday was OUR official celebration for halloween. Of course, Holland does not celebrate halloween, but seeing how we are an 'international' school, we do on occasion try to do other things, perhaps tpyically american.
Like every other event, it was held in the college bar and there were good times to be had by all. I dressed up as a 1950's greaser. its what i have done for several halloweens before, well mainly because it doesnt cost me anything, and people still know what youre talking about while thinking that you made a moderate effort. My friend phil made an Awesom-o robot costume out of boxes, and made me laugh through out the whole night by him struggling to dance while also struggling to negotiate his way through a crowd of people. Me being still nervous for the presidential election party scheduled at 3AM our time after the halloween party, i decided to drink heavily yet again. So when the presidential coverage finally came i was pretty drunk, angry, and pumped full of self destructive foreign substances.
After pulling an all nighter of watching the election 2004 coverage with nothing happening but me yelling at the TV, i was profoundly dissappointed (after waking up at 2PM today) to find the entire country shaded in red including the state of Ohio, while seeing that the republicans are confiding that they have scored one of the most major victories in American history. A lyric that i will never forget from a song that i listened to way too much in highschool goes like this:
"where are all the stupid people from?
and how'd they get to be so dumb?"
I know its hip and cool to hate bush. Lets face it, its easy to hate bush. Its easy to make funny cartoons about him, accuse him of being racist, consider him a non humanitarian, point out the fact that he speaks like a retard, declare him as a war monger etc. But bush is not the fucking problem here, its a whole lot more!!! I think lots of people give more credit to bush, way more than he fucking deserves. Just what the fuck is a drunken retard texan gonna do to change the whole world? Hes just a single guy, a fucking puppet not capable of making any pressing decisions at his own discretion. Hes a front man designed to take credit or flak for all incidences that happen in America and in many cases outside of America. If you lose your job, who are you gonna fucking blame? yourself? fuck no, how about the president and his economic policy? The president is backed by a system, an arbitrary fucking system, that uses most of its energy to maintain peoples consent to current conditions rather than represent the peoples beliefs in change.
We are not living a 'democracy' as you all may very well know. 'Why' might you ask? we can all go out, get to the polls, and vote! We have the freedom to choose our senators and representatives by popular majority, and allow a firm cooperative system of 'checks and balances'. But this is my question that im asking most people today. Are our beliefs (and i mean our values, our opinions for a better america, our educated theories and hypotheses' for progressive change, our criticisms of injustice etc.) being represented in our government today? This definately is the pressing question that i want to ask all americans. Is your vote toward a single candidate your statement that you truly believe in everything this person stands for? Does 50% of the nation believe in everything that democrats believe in, while 50% are believe everthing republican? America has turned into some type of sports competition where the issues dont really matter anymore, but rather the need for your own team to win. Kerry is a fucking dork, but i would have voted for him anyway. Why? Because i want to punish the other side.
For a fake news anchorman, Jon Stewart said much stuff that needed to be said besides calling Tucker Carlson a dick. In the current period where we think that there is so much more criticism of our government than ever before, a comedy show host ends up taking it to a very important level. America has turned into a system of "Partisan hackery". Theres a wide range in ways that the Government can be run, the two party system both consents to just one. News media does NOT give fair and balanced insight on government. Instead it just keeps on repeating the fact that everything is going right with out too much question. Crossfire argues for just two sides, left and right. They argue for the candidates. I wouldnt necessarily blame the assholes on crossfire as culperates who are "hurting america", in fact its they are more "keeping america the way it is, and the way it ought to be".
We are in for another 4 years of shit in my opinion. Living in a different country has helped me better understand that America is a global figure, but acts like a selfish prick. I dont want to follow the same course that we are heading right now, and i am apparently disappointed that a majority of Americans dont feel the same way. Even though im canadian, i still consider myself American, and i dont liek seeing my country continue to sink to a low level.
Kiss my ass USA
L O V E D A V E Y
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current mood: disappointed
current music: who else? elliot smith
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| Friday, October 29th, 2004
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3:06 pm - Another Weekend another Wan
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Hooray i just got raped by my fucking statistics test! I hate school by the way, especially honors colleges in Holland. I still have an awful taste in my mouth from swallowing my own vomit during my test because i was doing so fucking horrible.
Whats funny is that if you get a 'B' on a test or paper here, most of the time its the teachers way of saying that you got a 'C-' or a 'D'. Youll notice when you get your papers back and realize that everyone else in the class got an 'A' and your paper has a 'B' with a bunch of red marks everywhere. I dont really consider myself stupid, but the classes here are just demanding as hell. On average were assigned about 400 pages of reading per week (of which i read maybe about 5-10 pages of each time). Right now i have a 5000 word essay due next week. Another funny thing is that a lot of the non native english speakers here read way faster than me, and what makes it even worse is that they typically know several other languages. So expectedly, with me knowing only english and some highschool spanish, i feel like a fucking retard. Even so, im still enjoying it here and even though everyone else is smarter than i am, i still love hangin around them.
Dutch people are funny. A lot of times i find myself saying "whats up?" when ever i greet people. For some reason this makes most native dutch kids a bit nervous. Typically the situations go like this.
Me: Hey, whats up?
Dutch Kid: *gets nervous* Um... Im doing fine
OR
Me: Hey, whats up?
Dutch Kid: You americans always ask that! How the hell are we suppose to answer that question?
Me: Sorry
Other typical dutch (AND international kids alike) comments i always hear include ones about our driving policy.
"I cant believe they allow you drive at 16 and fight in a war at 18 but not drink till your 21, thats so ridiculous!"
Most people are pretty liberal about their lenient policies towards morally objectional things in America:
"I cant believe you americans are so uptight about abortions/drugs/sex, thats so ridiculous!"
Lots of students here and other dutch people are quite interested in our 2004 election. Of course you cant forget our representative leader:
"I cant believe you americans elected a dumbass for your president, thats so ridiculous!"
The Netherlands has had quite a rich history, however i frequantly point out that i never remember seeing the Netherlands on a map show WWII era Europe:
"We held off the nazi's quite nicely during WWII!" (of course even the troops on bicycles couldnt hold off the nazi invasion for more than three days)
The most frequantly spoken dutch mistake while speaking english is saynig "no" in their language:
"Nee!... i mean 'no'"
The main reason why i love dutch girls(just kidding... kinda):
"Im on the pill, i dont know any girl in Holland who isnt"
If you ask teh typical dutch person to pronounce words with a hard "TH" sound in them, theyll probably fuck up pretty bad:
"Dat will be Firty-Free Euros and firty cents"
When ever you talk about school, they will always replace the word "Do" with "Make":
"Dave! did you make the essay? I just made the homework assignment for today. Now im going to make the test later today!"(In response ill say, "oh cool, then ill make your girlfriend while your at it!"
A lot of their language has been adopted from the UK. For instance if i see some anger fucker throwin his fists, ill say "whoa hes pissed!" and theyll respond:
"Pissed? Really? hes only had a couple of beers. Im going to go wait in the queue."
Lessee, today i must start on my 5000 word essay, and clean my room.
lovedavey
current mood: taking a shit
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
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3:26 pm - I fell in love with a prostitute
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Well my fall break was completely useless. liek i didnt really do anything. Oh i ate, and slept, and then ate some more, but really nothing else. oh wait i went to AMSTERDAM!!!
Amsterdam is a great place. Theres tons of tourists, drug dealers, and prostitutes to go round! No seriously, its a really lively city, and it seems liek theres always something to do no matter who you are really. When me and my friends went we decided to tour the Red light district. I visited amsterdam before, but this was my first time. Basically the red light district is a total expreience. Its not really that big or extensive, its based around a quaint stretch of canal with tons of people walking on each side. There's girls in windows wearing bikinis with a red right above them. What surprised me was to how young there girls were. The girls were pretty diverse however, you can get really old girls too. YOu can also hit up really dark skinned girls, asian girls, or problematically fat ones.
Now for the record: I have WAAAAYYYY TOO MUCH fucking pride to pay for sex. First of all its like cheating. Secondly, I get the same fear and apprehension of taking a shit in a bar bathroom where every dirty fucker has used or puked in the same toilet. Third, the only reason id sink that low is when im way old, way ugly, way rich and still got plenty of love to give. With that said, I remember i walked by this particular prostitute, who fooled me into falling in love with her. All she had to do was make eye contact with me, pick me out of the crowd of all the other staring retards, point to me, and beckon for me to come to her with her fore finger. She was really good lookin i must say. But anyway, my face turned red and i walked away trying to make sure i didnt look like a faggot. Since the prostitutes professionaly rotate in shifts, we decided to take another lap around to see what has changed. Predictably, the same prostitute was there and she did the exact same freakin thing to me. My face turned even redder than it was before and i walked away again. Music startin playin in my head and then it took me the rest of the night to forget about her. Thats the effect these girls have on you, they totally make you feel all special, and then they take your 50 euros and say "come again". Maybe i was just waay too drunk.
My friend decided it would be funny to piss off a lot of the hookers and ask how much it was to "nut on their face". Well most people dont really know the word "nut" means as it IS american slang, but it did do the job of pissing them off. HE got the door slammed on his face everytime. All i could do was laugh, hah.
We all also caught a famous redlight district sex show. Let me tell you how grossed out i was by that. These women were in their late 30's and early 40's. You can tell that they were total sex show veterans and that they have been doing the exact same act about 10 times each night for maybe about 12 years. One girl invites spectators up on stage so that she can put a marker up her curtains and write "the end" on a persons stomach at the end of the act. Then a couple came out and actually had sex on stage where i had to see some old guys ugly wang rail another nasty chick. those people were so ugly it kinda gave me night mares, and theyre teeth were rotten and stuff, but it really didnt matter. We were drunk as hell and it really didnt take all that much for us stay laughing the whole entire time.
Well thats the story of my week. I hope this story hasnt offended anyone. Amsterdam IS a pretty crazy ass place ill have to admit. And i dont really care to hit up the red light district again, seeing how i did get a gross feeling while there. So for all you peopel that didnt like that story i can say that the only non X rated thing i DID in the district was have some beer, fries, and schoarma.
more to come...
lovedavey
p.s. PAYING for sex... never have, never will
current mood: amused
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| Sunday, October 17th, 2004
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10:05 pm - yo ho
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My fall break has started, which is now my cue to commense extreme laziness. My original plan was going to france but instead im gonna be doing something else.
ahhh dutch girls.
-love davey
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| Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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10:49 am - OKTOBERFEST
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Thats right folks, this last weekend, given the nature of my injury and the immobility it has afflicted me with, I decided to take a road trip to Munich Germany in order to catch the end of one of the most biggest festivals in the world, Oktoberfest. If there is one alitteration that would exemplify this trip, its "public pissing".
Friday:
I had already missed a huge math test this last week, and its about 25 percent of my grade. I was originally planning to make it up today, but no, all the kids wanted to leave at fucking 7AM. I also had an interview with my psychology professor that i didnt even let know about. So that morning, i got up, hopped on one footout of my bed, got dressed and crutched my way across campus to our rental van. We rented a 9 person van from the University, So as soon as we all got packed, all 9 of us (Me, Doug, Jeff, Bob, Emma, Michelle, Jill, Val, and Jim) hit the road with only a stupid ass mapquest print out.
The drive was sooo fucking long. We eventually ran into German heavy traffic which was one of the worst experiences of our lives. Traffic was at a complete fucking standstill. It was so bad that other drivers got really tired and got out of their cars to stretch out, and walk around a little bit and have a cigarette. We drove with our door open the whole time to get air flowing through. We also ended up getting lost when we arrived in Munich but lots of Germans were quite happy to help us. In total the trip took 12 hours. We orginally planned to get a camp site, but the whole fucking campsite we that we went to was completely full, so we just decided to wing it with an private parking place at the campsite instead, then just head to the festival from there.
Mind you, my ankle was sprained, swollen and purple the whole time, so i had to walk about a mile on crutches total between train stops. Every 200 meters or so i had to stop and catch my breath. I thought that would annoy all my friends, but instead they just felt really sorry for me. So as we are walking to the Oktoberfest fair grounds, we see these drunken french guys pushing a small PennyMarkt shopping cart in front of them. My friends thought it would be a good idea to ask them to borrow the shopping cart. Well it turns out that they didnt really speak a lick of english, and interpreted my friends gestures as if she were asking they, the french guys, could push me in the cart. So they put me in and while continually screaming "Bruce Lee! Bruce Lee!", ran fucking full speed down the wet side walk. It ended up looking like one of those drift racing videos you see on the internet. Fortunately, my one of my friends took the cart away before i was seriously hurt and we finally made it to the festival grounds. We left the cart in hopes that we could come back later to it.
The Oktoberfest was just insane. Everybodys drunk off their asses of course. There are tons of people everywhere, and a lot of them are dressed in old classic german attire. What ididnt expect was that it resembled a huge carnival. I had myself some brats and sourkraut with mustard, which was one of the best damn dishesive ever tasted. So as soon as i finally got some food in my stomach, we headed straight to the beer tents. Now beer is basically the foundation of oktoberfest, so almost every popular german beer has their own respective tents. Our first stop was the Lowenbrau area. Let me first clarify: the beer tents arent really tents, they are more like gigantic structured building hallways constructed solely for oktoberfest. These places are soo huge, and they are built like regular buildings on the street, have wood patios and they also have a huge tower which they sport a giant rotating sculpture and their name on an elaborately lit sign. The lowenbrau one had a giant lion drinking beer. We finally found a table to sit at, and asked the beerwenches to bring us all a liter. The beer was served in these glass steins that hold a liter. The beer servers can carry like ten at a time which was pretty amazing. The beer tasted soo excellent. You see all beer in germany is regulated to just the bare essential ingredients and nothing more, and i was definately able to taste it. yum
Drunkeness followed quickly. Inside the main lowenbrau hall, there were probably about 500 people dancing on tables and singing really shitty songs. For some reason the girls we were with all got these wrist bands from random german ladies outside teh beer hall, so they were able to go in. The rest of us guys had to sneak past the german polizei in berets but it was easy because there were just so many poeple. We spent most of our night partying in the lowenbrau tent.
Later we decided to keep all of our stein glasses, and walk around the festival some more. One type of people we just couldnt avoid at oktoberfest were drunk italian guys. They kept on randomly going up to the girls and kissing them. Actually italian guys kept on appraoching me and just randomly talking to me( sometimes i wasnt sure whether or not they were open or if they were comin on to me) The girls found that they liked all the attention and decided to run off and kiss every fucking italian guy that they ran into. I had so much trouble trying to keep up with them and the entire group, because they were moving too fast, there were just soo many fucking people around us, and i was on crutches that i just got pissed off and decided to go home.
Our old shopping cart was still there at the entrance and Bob took me home in it. We carried about 4 steins with us. While we were going home on the subway, everyone was eyeing our cart and the 4 steins we put in it, so we started getting really nervous. After the long trek, we eventually made it back to the van at the camp site, and while i was trying get out of the cart, the whole thing tips over and we end up breaking 3 out of the 4 glasses. I was piss drunk however, and we just passed out in the van.
Saturday:
Woke up in the front seat of the van with a big fucking hangover, Doug was sleeping on the floor, under the dash, next to the pedals. I looked up and everyone was crammed into the rear seats sleeping.
We later decided to tour around Munich that day. We ended up find another bigger shopping cart so I was able cover far distances without getting the struggling. Of course everyone was staring at us, and since we werent near the oktoberfest, we couldnt really use drunkeness as an excuse. We ended up visiting the central square, some old roman buildings, and the english gardens. There was an area in the canal where surfers can ride a never ending wave which was pretty sweet.
Interacting with the Germans was all that hard. A lot of them couldnt speak english but were still happy to help anyway. None of us knew german, so all we freakin ended up saying the whole trip was 'danke'.
In the middle of town we ended up going the HB opera house or seomthing, where we decided to get a whole lot more beer. It was just like the beer hall at Oktoberfest, and this time we decided to chant along with everybody else.
After the tour of Munich we returned to the festival on a 6 person bike shaped like a star, its hard to explain. but anyway we were drunk. We met up with these german girls who said they saw us before wheeling around in the shopping cart in Munich Central. We later found out that they were 16, so we decided to convince them that we were traditionally dutch. That way we were at least able to kiss them on the cheek before we decided to leave them for the Schalen beer tent.
Blah Blah more beer, blah blah more talking. We smuggled even more glasses, and decided to call it a night again. I ended up having close to 5 steins of beer that night. We lost our cart so I had to walk almost the whole mile or two back to the trainstation and to the car. We were moving really slow by the time we got on the homestretch to the van, so doug and jim decided to carry me. Being extremely drunk, we didnt really realize how bad of an idea that was. Doug told me to get on his shoulders, and then right when i get up, we fall straight on the side walk. I was carrying a stein in my sweatshirt pocket, and my sweatshirt was tied around my shoulders. After I slammed onto the sidewalk, the stien in my pocket swings around and hits me right in the nose. Even though i was drunk, it still hurt like hell. I was bleeding everywhere, and all my friends didnt really know what to do. Tons of people were walking by wondering why theres a guy on the crutches who is laying on the ground bleeding everywhere, and offered their help. In a my depressed drunken state, I got up and start feeling sorry for myself. I end up laughing and crying at the same time. boy it was weird. I was so drunk and lazy that i didnt even want to clean up the blood on my face and I just passed out in the van again.
Sunday:
Our weekend was over. My face was all crusty, and my nose is all bruised and slightly swollen. After cleaning myself off, we packed up and headed home again. Not much happened during that time except reminicsing of what happened. I realized how many arbitary places we ended up peeing at. Seriously, with the amount of beer we drank, we ended up pissing ALL OVER FUCKING MUNICH. In fact heres a list of places:
-Smack dab right in the middle of the Oktoberfest fairgrounds, no buildings around us nothing, just people.
-In a scenic plaza right at the top of a traditional looking stair case
-In a air circulation vent in that same roman plaza area
-under the right van tire in broad daylight with people looking at me
-under the left van tire in broad daylight with people looking at me
-right in front of an apartment window
-the bushes next to a closed down security gate
-bushes behind the van
I only used a bathroom twice on this whole trip. They really have to do something about their bathroom availabilitys, and they really have to stop making people pay to use them, or else theyll pee in vents. Despite my bloody nose, i really had a great time on this trip.
Today I just made up my math test and got a B+. hell yeah
love davey
current mood: dead
current music: ub40 red wine (germans love that song)
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| Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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3:51 pm - Shit happens
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I sprained my ankle...
Im such a dumbass. I dont know what attracts me to play soccer so much here, but it ended up fucking me up really bad. Sunday night i was playing soccer with some friends and while running backwards i change directions, trip, fall on the side of my right foot, hear two loud pops, and sprain it. A week earlier, i fell on my ankle in the exact same place and injured it slightly, so whatever that did to my ankle, last sunday finished the fucking job. I didnt expect it to be so bad, oh sure it hurt like a mother fucker. I couldnt walk home with out squeeling like a pig. That night i called good ole Doc, and he said to wait till morning and have a doctor look at it, i said okay and headed straight up to the bar. I dont know what really motivated me to drink so much, It was really embarrasing having everyone stare at me while i was trying to walk through the bar with one bare swollen foot, hanging on to whatever i could. Then i realized that it was good because sleep came way easier while being plastered.
The next morning i was planning on heading over to the main office to see if i could get a lift to the doctors office. Originally i wanted to get up at like 8AM so i wouldnt miss class. I ended up waking up at 12PM, my foot is twice the size it was the night before, and i limp my way over to the office only to find out that i can only get a doctors appointment at 3PM. the California EAP counselor people were a fucking godsend. They were the ones that took me to hospital, talked to in dutch where needed, and got medical supplies for me on the other side of town. By the time i got to the doctors office my ankle and part of my foot was really purple, and it was so swollen that the bumps on the sides were almost flattened out. My meeting with the doctor was really short:
Doctor: Allo, blabh abklab lbahb lbeahb lbeahbh BAbjha blabh eiahbl bhal
Me: Spreekt u engels?
Doctor: Of course i do!
He basically told me that i fucked up real bad by walking on it a whole bunch, and told me to get the fuck out and on to the hospital for x-rays. I ended up registering myself at the hospital and receiving one of those cards with all my medical information on it so that if i die, they can identify me. After taking two pictures of my ankle, the hospital people told me that it wasnt broken. Given that my ankle looked like a fucking egg plant, i was pretty skeptical about that statement. The bad thing was that i couldnt get a pair of crutches that day. i came back to campus and my friends took me to dinner in a run down wheel chair that we found in the campus inventory room. A lot of people thought i was fucking around and making fun of cripples. I reassured them by showing my baloon ankle. The rest of the day, i was learning how to negotiate everything on one foot. I had to shower, walk up the stairs, make food, all on one foot. I also now have to sit down to pee. The doctor told me to ice it 3 times a day until the swelling dies down, but theres only one catch, NO ONE HAS A FUCKING FREEZER in this god damned place. All refrigerators in everyones living rooms do just that... refrigerate.
This morning my foot was even more swollen and even more purple. So at 7:30 AM here (9:30 pacific) I call Doc back at home again, tell him its getting worse, and I end up finding out the dutch doctor i talked to doesnt really know what he was talking about. Doc said that icing it only helps after you fuck up your ankle and not 24 hours after. Instead followed docs advice and wrapped my foot up to compress the swelling. I figured id trust doc more because hes got a bijillion years of experience on that dutch doctor guy. I got my crutches this morning, and i found out that theyre not the conventional crutches that go under your arm pits... noo these are the kinds that you wear on your fore arms. So right now im negotiating my way around campus looking like jimmy the cripple from South Park. Everyone tells me "those are the kinds of crutches EVERYONE here uses!", and i said "yeah just like that piece of shit who cant ever pick up his keys in Something About Mary".
Anyway, i need to write about my trip to North Holland. The friday before ankle bashing sunday, I visited a fairly cozy city called Groningen. Since all the california kids are paying about $3000 more in tuition fees than everyone else at this school, EAP decided to use some of that money to pay for a little one day trip. I cant say that i didnt have a lotta fun though. The train ride going there was a bit weird, I sat across from 3 dutch soldiers who didnt really seem to be tough at all. They were wearing full camouflage outfits, and i was wondering why because the entire inside of the train was bright orange. Anyway, when we got there us Utrecht kids met up with the other california exchanges from Leiden and Maastricht. We ended up going to this bar that was like an intricate maze, and every single corner there was a new and different bar. It was a good idea because i ended up buying like 5 pints that night. When the drunkeness came, so did the dancing. Everyone told me that Groningen is like white trash and that they were nothing but farmers, but i noticed more diversity than Utrecht. Halfway through the night me and the two santa barbera guys got some "frites met mayonaise" or fries with mayonaise which i have been eating a lot of lately. The Leiden kids stayed out the latest and i decided to hang with them. Close to 5AM we got back to the Hostel and i passed out so fast that i dont even remember dressing down to my underwear, especially when i was sharing the room with about 15 other girls. Apparently i kept a lot of them awake by doing my infamous drunken snoring (Daves drunken snore: A state in which dave snores really loud and cannot be woken up by anyway conventional means. That includes hitting his face with a pillow).
The next morning we climbed the tallest tower in the city (About 335 steps), and there you can see the entire city from all angles, and watch a little guy at the top playing the tower bells from this little room. We also had pancakes on a boat. The restaurant was called Pankoekschip and they serve these really thin pancakes, and inside it your supposed to put fruit cheese, meat, really anything you like. Stuffed myself silly. We took a tour of the canals on a canal boat, but we really didnt pay attention to the tour, but instead talked to eachother and drank beer. Last we visited the museum of contemporary art which was pretty meh... and that finalized the tour. later on me and couple of friends hit up a coffie shop(by the way, Koffie shops are always places to smoke weed, Cafes are places to get actual coffie). The munchies were killin us so had dinner at a dutch chinese restaurant. That was pretty nice, and the food was better than any chinese food i had back in the states. Right before we hopped aboard the train back to Utrecht, we ate some space cake, it kicked in about halfway.
For the record i dont like to get high, it makes me paranoid as fuck, anti social, and scared. Everytime i do it, i get hallucinations of mister T yelling at me saying "Dont do Drugs! Drink Milk!". actaully im lying about the mr T thing.
Dont do drugs, drink milk!
lvoe dave
current mood: gimped
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| Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
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7:07 pm - More and more comes... BELGIUM
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Saturday i took a trip to south holland on a whim. Me and my friend Phillip took the train to the city of Maastricht where there are a ton of coffee shops, and white trash. The city looked very nice, and like most other cities in Holland it was pretty damn crowded. We were later picked up by Phils mom and we drove all the way back to his house in Bilson, Belgium. Maastricht is right on the border. When you cross into belgium, you automatically notice that youre out of holland. Phil says you can tell because everything looks a little bit more fucked up there. That was the first time i rode in a car during my stay in Europe. Gas here is about $4.50 a gallon, which is fucking outrageous. Me and phile also shared an unintentionally homoerotic moment when he wanted to show me the belgian forests and feilds. We didnt realize that it look pretty gay until we came across some belgian kids smokin some weed or someshit. To make things even worse, we both fed grass to baby goats. cute little buggers though.
Phil's family is really interesting, his dad is indonesian and his mom is native belgian. Both were really nice people, and they fed me soo much i thought i was going to explode. Phils dad gave me a whole bunch of beer, including the heaviest dark beer in belgium which was 9.2%. Belgium is known for having such a huge variety of beer, and i guess thats pretty much it besides its waffles. Anyway, i ate dinner with phils family at his house in Belgium, and we ended up seeing the Bourne Supremecy later that night. Its funny because all movies here are like 3 to 4 months old in America before they are even released here in Europe. Most kids download the movies from the internet and watch them before they come out in their town.
The Belgian theater was a little different. For one thing, all movies include both french and dutch subtitles. Antoher thing is that theres just a whole shit load of commercials played befre the previews start. Im not talking about 3 or 4 commericials like in america, but like 10-15. And they are all so fucking weird too. Seomthing that im not used to is that all movies have intermission. Halfway through the movie, the cheif dude of teh CIA was like "i have to talk to you in private" and then bam the screen goes dark and theres a ten minute intermission where people get up go to the bathroom, make phone calls or get more food. For some reason i was a little pissed about the intermission, maybe because i felt like it was interrupting the movie. Anyway, i wasnt too impressed by movie, nor was i with bourne identity. For example, it was really stupid how he goes into that young russian girls apartment all bloody and broken from being chased by a russian assassin, then tells her that he killed her parents. Phil thought it would be cool if it turned out the russian assassin recovered from the accident right at that very moment, and busted through the door in his wheel chair and rode over both of them killing both bourne and the russian girl instantly. It sure would have made a better than the one they made.
That night i slept in Bilson, in phils cramped ass room. His room is no bigger than a bathroom, and when his parents set up a fold out bed for me, there was no more floor to walk on. The next morning, we had breakfast, had a long long boring conversation with phils dad about "sandwich bread". Basically the whole conversiation went liek this...
Phils Dad: I really like this "sandwich bread", it is very soft and good.
Me: Oh really, hey what do you call that bread in belgium.
Phils Dad: "Sandwich Bread"
Me: Oh... cool.
So later that day, my friend phil was peforming in his band at a small festival in a neighboring city close to Maastricht. The whole setup was quite proffessional, and everything looked pretty well planned. I got to hang out back stage. Phils band had their own trailer/dressing room that was filled with snacks and soda. There set was well done, and there were actual fans that came there to see his band. there were about 500 people there although phil refuses to admitt that it was that small. Best thing about that day is we got free beer. It was for the band, but since i was hangin around them the whole time, they gave it to me too. We were able to drink as much as we can, and i must have made like 7 trips to the bier stand. Some random guy decided to buy the whole band a round despite the fact that we were getting it for free, and he bought one for me too. So after a couple hours of hitting on the lead singer of the band, we were forced to do a speed beer round because we had to go. Whats funny was that the whole band was like 17 and they all relied on their parents to drive them to the show and take care of their equipment and what not. We ended up stealing all the food and drinks from the dressing room and then took it back with us on the train back to Utrecht.
I bought myself a bicycle. Apparently i paid way too much for it (50 Euro), the bike is a peice of shit, the front tire wobbles, the rear tire drags, the lights dont work, and to top it all off its a girls bike. All my friends laughed at me, but i didnt really give it shit because it still gets me places. Ill post pictures later i guess. Here everything you need is within biking distance. So having a bike is soo fucking convenient.
A lot of my friends went to Utrecht Central station to get their bike, where you can buy a stolen bike there for as little as 1 euro off a crack head or heroine junky. Of course there are certain risks involved when doing so. There are some rumors that the junkie will follow you home just to steal the bike back. Others warn that cops dress as junkies and try to catch people buying it. I myself just dont like buying stolen shit. I got my car radio stolen, and so now im choosing to be a pussy and cast a vote to stop the circuiting of stolen shit. (Even though i stole a bass pedal from my friends highschool). whatever.
OH YEAH i almost forgot. Yesterday was another fun tuesday night. BTW we dont have school on wednesdays. So every tuesday night theres some kind of party happening and at least 5 people on campus end up either puking or pissing on themselves from sever drunkeness. And if your lookin for some 'rubby rubby' action, tuesday nights usually the time to get it.
An interesting thing about dutch people is that they have no idea what the fuck a beer bong is. Well i ended up showing what these poor bastards were missing out on yesterday by constructing one of my own( which was fucking difficult as hell, i had to search through like 5 different hardware stores to find a hose and funnel, and no one in this damn country had one). The hose i bought was an opaque industrial rubber hose because i cant find any clear ones. Me and my friends decided to name it "Dan Trico" because that was the label on the hose. It had nice ring to it, like an soem fat italian guy. I think close to about 20 people tried it for the first time yesterday. And the awesome part was that we took all the beer from some gay ass jamming frat party.
Alright enough pointless shit and more studying
Love davey
(I like sex)
Quick Lesson in Dutch:
There is only one sentence in dutch you need know in order for everyone to like you.
"Ik hep en groter stijfe [Ick Hepp Unn hhroater Staifah]" translates to:
"I have a huge stiffy"
The dutch language is a bit confusing. When ever you pronounce the letter "g" you have to form your mouth as if your making a "G" and breath out and spit everywhere. Fortunately msot everybody here speaks english.
current mood: crushed
current music: Barat from Kazakstan theme song
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| Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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9:17 pm - More on life in Holland
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I have been eating pretty well. A lot of dutch diet consists of a lotta meat or cheese or both. Every lunch time were ALWAYS served sandwiches. Theres really nothing else you can eat as your main course. In fact were not even really served, we have to make them ourselves. We take a whole buncha bread, and then walk over to the meat and cheese counter and make them. The sandwiches do taste pretty good though and i havent really gotten sick of them just yet. You can also always take like a little apple fritter or fried vegetable patty that looks exactly like a hockey puck. Im not given any other choice for a drink besides water and milk. And because milk gives me the McShits, i just stick to water everyday. Portions are generally a little smaller than they are in America, and a lot of friends notice that i do eat quite much everytime.
When you put sandwiches into an electric sandwich grill here, they call it a "Tosti", or 'toastie'. Back at home we just call it grilled sandwiches dammit. Anyway, if you always find yourself wanting a quick snack and all you really have is bread and cheese, you can always find someone here with a Tosti maker in their room and make one yourself. Ive also been eating quite a bit of lamb for dinner. Its not really different from beef. Like not just the taste, im guessing that the cafeteria just uses beef and slaps the 'lamb' label on it. Anyway, its pretty good as well, and you can always eat it with a ton of rice, which is one of the things they dont care if you eat too much of.
Something that i have started making a habit of is eating chocolate sprinkles on buttered bread. It sounds a bit weird, and also feels even more weird when doing it for the first time, but i finally realized just what the fuck ive been missing all my life. It tastes really REALLY good. Its also goes damn well with peanut butter. The students here dont know the term "chocolate sprinkles" in fact their own literal translation is chocalate hale (like rain). If you think about it, chocolate sprinkles is kind of a weird name, and its actually on the verge of being pretty gay. In fact, it sounds like the name for a black drag queen.
If you go into town, theres a lot of places where you can get quite a variety of foods. Theres quite a few turkish places because of the high turkish population. There you can get kabobs, falafels and schwarma. Oh and in case you didnt know, ill provide an SAT word analogy:
Holland:California...
Turkish:Mexicans
Morrocans:Black People
The darker skinned people live usually live in Rotterdam, but youll usually see them everywhere doing either menial labor or feeding their drug addictions. A lot of the native population doesnt like the influx of Turkish and Morrocans, mianly because a lot of them couldnt find jobs and then so they are forced into poverty and all that shit. Its complicated really... back to food.
Dairy is big here. Everyone drinks milk, and i feel really fucking weird being one of the very few lactose intolerant people here in Holland. My friends put tons of butter on their cheese when they eat bread. Theres lots of chocolate products here as well which are quite popular.
The most popular candy however is fucking black licorice flavored candies. I dont know how thats justified here, but people apparently love it. WHY? it tastes so fucking horrible. As a little kid i was scared to death of grabbing a handful of jelly beans in fear of getting a black licorice one. In my first week here, some girl handed me this little candy in the shape of a black cat. Having no idea what it was i just ate it and realized that bitch was trying to poison me. i pretended that i loved it and nicely refused another one.
More food adventures to come...
On another note... What i really liek about going to school here in Utrecht, is that everyone doesnt really know anyone, and so its just like starting college all over again. Naturally, girls arent too afraid to come up and talk to you.
Anyway i have been hangin out with lots of girls here. might i give the reminder that my school is 70% female, and its not because Im good with the ladies(because im not). Anyway, this statistic is very promising, but somehow i find myself somewhat competing for girls attention anyway. So let me tell you about 'Isreali dude' who i will just refer to as the "dude"(not to be confused with the big lebowski 'dude' who is waaay fucking cooler). Now this guy isnt a really big deal, but all these subtle things i have noticed only in the past couple days really start to bug me. I think they are kind of funny really.
Well I notice the dude the first day. During the whole check in process, I notice him scopin out the ladies, just like me. Were in a new environment and its natural for the guys to do it, but no. I saw a lot of interesing traits in this guy that ive seen before so many a time, and it caught my attention. Off hand from the first day, i knew this guy was gonna be trouble.
Anyway, I actually meet him at a dorm party. I came with my roomate 'Hinke' who btw is really pretty. Predictably he was extremely excited to meet her, and also predictably ignorant to meet anyone else. To start, the guy looks a lot like one of pussy hunters who goes to clubs everynight and spits game at underaged girls. Hes got intimidating muscles, and he has well groomed hair. My first impression of him was, that hes an aggressive punk who faces rejection easily until he gets what he wants. I was actually kinda right. Anwyway, while sitting down next to my roommate at the party, I decide get up to go get a beer. Surely enough, i come back and the dude is in my seat leaning over talking to her. Fortunately I just decide to talk to all the others and start a little drinking game. By the way no one here knows what Quarters is! NOBODY! in fact there is no Quarter Euro. So i decided to extend my american diplomacy by introducing the drinking game 'Quarters' ignoring the fucker who stole my seat. Well my roomate gets up, decides to ditch him (god bless her) and play too, but then he ends up following her saying in some stupid accent "if shes going to play, than im going to play!". haha, she ended up leaving. Afterwords in my head, i said "i love you".
This other time, I was chilling in the sun with some friends between class. We had a bunch of living room furniture set up all over the grass, and were just relaxing and having some beer. One of the guys that i just met busts out a guitar and offers it to me. He played really well himself, and so i told him i was playing since junior high. So, I start playing. Soon enough, the 'dude' comes! Of course, i still dont even know his name, and he never really asked for mine, but he comes and sits next to me anyway. There were also some girls sitting nearby relaxing in the sun as well. So in the middle of playing "No woman no cry", he interrupts to ask if he can play the guitar for second. Being the overly nice guy that i am i jsut give it to him. Then he starts playing 'Hit me baby one more time'(fucking poorly might i add), fucking up all the chords while cracking his voice and shit. This one girl laughed, but i think that was all he got. I was just thinking "Ah fuck man, using an acoustic guitar and singing britney spears is what american faggots did to get chicks LIKE TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO, fucktard". He also tried to play smells like teen spirit using fuckign bar chords. what a faggot.
This one other time I was at the College Bar, im playing pool with these two girls who invited me and my friend to play 2 on 2 with them. The dude ends up coming unannounced, and says "i want to play!". He ended up complaining about something and we finally gave in and played cutthroat instead of 2 on 2. Cut-throat consists of 3 teams, so since there was only five of us, I put that fucker by himself on his own team. Each team tries to sink the other 2 teams balls while keepiung their own on the table. I managed to sink all but one of the dude's like all on one turn, haha. Hes got one ball left till hes eliminated from the game and its still my turn. I do a totally dick thing and make the motion to sink it. He then complains and is like "dont be mean! blah blah blah im gay.." and so i decided that i was being too big of a dick left him in the game. Well after a couple bad hits on my part, him and the other team end up gangin up on my team and we fuckin get eliminated. After the games over, hes urging my the too girls to walk home with him, but they insisted on waiting for me and my friend who was returning the empty pitcher to the bar. I get back and he ends up saying "okay lets all walk togedder!" as if it were his idea. what a faggot.
Well, i dont wanna act like this guy is a very big deal because he isnt. All these events are really subtle and dont really mean anything, so please dont mistake me as some obssessive peice of shit. Generally, I dont really get mad at people, and im actually pretty confident that despite this guys dumbass behavior, hes still a pretty nice guy. I just think its really funny how this guy functions. The thing that bothers me is that im not sure how many girls are gonna fall for his "exotic confident macho isreali" personality he uses to coax girls into bed. Ive grown up as one of those nicer guys who will always try respects other guys territory if their goin after girls. Ive grown up around them. If theres a girl they like, I wont act like a total asshole and stomp over others in order to get the girl they want and vica versa. I try not to go outta my way to impres girls either. I know it sounds fucking stupid, but lets face it, guys always do shit to impress girls whether it be just picking up a guitar without being asked to, or showing off your motocross scars, or other stupid shit. Yeah i like playing guitar for people, not just girls, but mostly when they ask me to. Actually, i take that back, i open beer bottles with my teeth (even though i know it just grosses out girls instead). Well i guess im a fucking hipocrate. OH shit im rambling
Tot ziens
love davey
current mood:  tired
current music: my own guitar and my own voice
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 6th, 2004
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9:15 pm - Ahh the netherlands
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Well about 2 days ago was a special day for me. I just took biggest shit that i have ever shat so far here in Holland. See usually when i travel, i get a bit stressed or something and then i get all blocked up. But now i guess i have adapted and so i was automatically in the market to drop a huge load. It was impressive!
Dutch toilets suck. Instead of having a nice deep bowl of water in America, these toilets have a flat little table/shelf thing inside the toilet with a small pool of water in front of it. So basically whatever lands on that table stinks up the bathroom until you hit the flusher and it gets washed down into the small pool. I think i remember japanese toilets are like that too except they had no freakin seat to sit on. The worst part about it is that the flat surface looks like a freakin drag strip after you flush your deuce. skid marks everywhere.
anyway, despite my poo adventures, i have been having lots of steady fun here with my new campus life. Starting my gradual decline, I dont think there was a single night where i havent had beer. Whats weird to me is that i have made a habit of drinking beer during the day time as well. Here the people hate their rain, but they love the sun. When it comes out, people all over campus bring all their living room furniture from their dorms out into the ample grass fields and just chill out, play music, talk to friends, practice soccer/football and of course bust out crates of beer. Its cheap here. In fact, Grolsch bier has become my obligatory best friend. Heineken also flows freely, and a weird thing is that tastes really different than back in the states.
Well heres a little tour for all you people who actually care, heh.
"This is my main courtyard. This is what i walk across every fuckin tuesday for class. This is also where i drank beer during welcome week! or as they say here in the netherlands 'welkom week'. I had lots of fun and beer.
"This is where i spend a lot of my time here in the "Locke" building. Its for social science or something, i dunno. Plus im forced to use the computer labs in this building because my own computer blew the fuck up."
"Here is where I (try to) play soccer, and usually i end up embarrassing myself. The other day i tried to stop the ball with my hip, but it ended up hitting my nuts instead. Your right, it did hurt like a fat bitch. I also tried to block a goal shot only to have to ball bounce of my arm and land into the goal. Frankly i havent played soccer since grade school, so its definately a learning experience."
"This is where i am right now, except its a lot darker. I am forced to use these rooms at decent hours to complete my homework assignments. fortunately i think your allowed to drink beer here."
This is where i eat. The dining service here kinda sucks. They limit the amount of food you can take, and theyre calculations of thoes limits are strange. for example, im not allowed to take a banana if i have a salad, but i AM allowed to take a banana if i have a soup with a tuna salad. shit i dunno."
Well im outta cheap panoramas to explain my student life here. Up next, ill tell you how some desperate isreali dude keeps crampin my style with the ladies.
love davey
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| Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
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2:10 pm
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ahh dutch girls
Its funny how the events of last night unfolded the way they did. It really struck me this morning and i fell into yet another slump in my bed, and began a whole lot of worrying. Life really is full of many surprises, especially when your halfway across the world.
love davey
current mood:  anxious
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| Saturday, August 28th, 2004
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2:41 pm - the week
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Saturday:
I had a long long talk with Doc. Im glad we did it. He just came outta the hospital and now im feeling like my time with him is starting to reach a limit. We talked about all sorts of things though. I finally told him that i liked to drink, and he told me he was concerned about me becoming an alcoholic. He admits that he is himself, and it effected the way he talked to me a lot. He laughed when i told him he spilled his drink on me once while lecturing me while shaking his drinking hand. He also gave me another shpiel about fooling with girls. He apparently "necked" with a lotta girls when he was my age and he told me to go out "neck" as well whenever i get the chance. He also told me to never completely trust any woman with contraception because she might wanna sneak a baby into your life. I laughed. We talked about my dad for a bit, and how i was raised to become the person that i am. I sensed he was proud of me, despite that i didnt work nearly as hard as he did back in his day. He gave me some money and told me to go out and travel to somewhere nice with it. My mom ended up packing all my shit for me, even when i told her not to. I then said goodbye to all my friends. Andrews mom started tearing up. My last sleep at home for the year was short.
Sunday:
I said bye to Doc and left way early to get to the airport by 9AM with my mom. I heard from Mina and Nick, and they said bye to me over the phone from two different cities. Mina cried a little. We finally checked in and i said bye to my mom. I probably hugged her about 4 times before i left for the security gate. She cried as well. I assured her it was only for less than a year. I took a bunch of clothes, my computer and my guitar. So the plane ride wasnt too bad and went pretty smoothly. But there was a dutch girls softball team that kept on fucking singing and clapping almost the whole time until they ran out of energy and slept. I sat next to a Dutch guy on the plane who pretty much told me all about Holland. He used to be a soccer hooligan for amsterdam, and would go to different cities and punch people wearing a different colored shirt. Here in holland on top of saying 'fuck you', you can insult people even further by saying that they have a bad disease that theyre going to die from. A common one is 'cancelijdes'(spelling sucks), "youre going to die of cancer". HEh, he kept talking to me while i was trying to sleep, but i still had a lot of questions about dutch culture. He made fun of the fact that I ate with only a fork whiel my left hand was under the table. Most dutch people always eat with a fork and knife both hands above the table, regardless of whether or not you need to cut something. The former hooligan also told me to hit up some dutch farm girls who are usually very 'active' and experienced around males. As time past, the softball team woke up and started singing and clapping again real loud.
Monday:
When i got off the plane it was about to rain. I picked up my baggage and headed for the arrival gate. I was picked up by a Dutch student at the airport which was pretty cool, becuase i would have been totally lost. I bought my discount train card, and a 'strippenkaart' which is like a bus pass, and then headed over to utrecht attempting to carry all my fucking baggage from train to train and train to bus, and bus to bus. Everything i noticed was very green and grey. It was all so beautiful. Everyhtings flat here, no mountains in sight whatsoever. You always see some cows or sheep in empty fields and also those characteristic dutch windmills. My host city Utrecht, (pronounced oo-trrekkkkkkkk) extrememly beautiful as well. All the buildings are old, and packed together. USually theyre townhouses or stores. All roads and sidewalks are made of bricks and stones. Almost everyone here also rides bicycles, and paved bike lanes are even more standard than sidewalks. When i finally set foot on campus, the first thing i said to myself was "what the fuck am i doing here?". The campus is like a gated compound i guess. It feels like a pleasure resort or a high class estate. We have a gravel courtyard, and all the buildings look like scenery youd find printed on money.
The check in process was a total bitch, but i met quite a few people in the process. The students here are from all over the world. I met people from romania, croatia, canada, saudi arabia, germany, the UK, poland, italy, namibia, tanzania, and holland. i mean fucking everywhere. theres about 600 stduents total here, and they all have to speak english well inorder to be accepted. A lot of people here speak englsih so well that i sometimes assume taht they are either american or british. A funny demographic of this campuis is that its around 70% girls to 30% guys. And there are pretty girls everywhere. It surprised me just how open they are. Despite the legalized prostitution here, the girls arent very permiscuous as so many would think. Anyway, right now at this very moment im sitting a couple seats down from this really hot croatian girl i met the first day.
After i checked in, and moved all my shit into my spacious single dorm room. I met some of my roomates, and they are all pretty nice. I had a taste of "brunch" here. which all they did was plop a bunch of meat cheese and bread out on a table and let the students do whatever they want with it. I couldnt even get water though which was weird, and all they had to drink was milk. Milk makes me stomach cranky, but apparently no one elses here. Luckily though, they do serve water during dinner time.
Anyway, All the students were later invited into the center courtyard for a huge gathering where we were all divided into 'families' and where new students would meet up with 2nd and 3rd year students called 'parents' to help situate the class. So when i got into my group, they gave us all chips and our own bottle of wine. i thoguht weeeiiird. My family was a mainly girls, and pretty ones might i add, and we played games and did all that obligatory shit. Later however, there was a bbq, where they gave us all these meats and FREE BEER. Like as much as we can drink. Theyre really big on Grolsch here. That time was really fun, and i got acquanted with yet even more people. This was all paid for by the school by the way, which boggles the mind.
That night they held a fucking dance i think, i cant really remember. The entire first day i was jetlagged as shit. I left at sunday 11AM from LAX, and arrived Monday at 9AM with out too much sleep. essentially i was awake for more than 24 hours, while drinking a whole lot as well. I dont really know how i did it, or remember it for that matter. I do remember sleeping pretty well my first night.
Tuesday:
We went into town, I got to see Utrecht in the sun light. We chilled out in the canals, and we also took a long walk around the main city. Lots of small shops. Things arent really all that expensive either. Since i was with a bunch of girls tehy all watned to go shopping, so i decided to just take a LONG walk around the city to see more of it. Unfortunately i walked out rather far, and then a thunderstorm came. right when you hear rain, all the people who are walking out in the street start running for cover. Dutch people hate the rain, like A LOT. I got a little lost and made my way back, by the time i got to our meeting point, the Dom Cathedral, I was completely soaked.
Later that night there was another dance, and still a lot of beer. I chilled in someones unit living room and had beers. No one heres ever heard of the game quarters, I taught everybody with a 5 eurocent peice and a cup. My unit mate ended up throwing up on himself, liek in front of 10 people. We were just [playingh quarters, and just all of sudden he leans fowrwad and pukes into his hands. haha Some girls thought he spilled his beer on himslef, but theyre were chunks everywhere and it started to smell REALLY bad. I invited him to the acquantances living room with me because he looked lost and i felt sorry for him, and seeing how it was my 'american' game, i felt responsible for the spillage. oh well, we cleaned it up real well and laughed about it the whole time, while the girls got grossed out and left. I returned to the dance, and began to cut some rug
Wednesday:
Not too much happened. This day and partially the day before i began to feel extremely depressed. I felt like that i dont belong here, and started to think leaving home was a mistake. Theres this very powerful feeling of loneliness when youre in a foreign country, and i finally experienced it. All i could relaly do is stay in my bed and kinda sulk in my own depression until i got over it.
So later that night we did this activity called the Pub crawl which picked up my mood extremely fast. Basically you get into your families and you go around to about 4 different bars in Utrecht getting free beer in each of them. That time i was able to get to know even more people, especially deh women. And the last bar we stayed at was, you guessed it, another freakin dance party. There have seriously been so many dance parties here its pretty fucking overwhelming. Typicall they get pretty dead because theyre is such a discrepancy between girls and guys here. A lot of the guys here are timid and they dont really feel like dancing. Girls on the other hand, want to dance really bad, but they want to dance around at least some guys. Still they get pretty happenin after people down a few beers.
Thursday:
I slept for most of the day. Another freakin dance party. I had a genuine talk with the other UCI kids about feeling so outta place here. It made us all feel a lot better i think. then more drinking, girls... blah blah blah
Friday:
I slepted for the most of the day. At night there was a "pub quiz" just like in aqua teen. I got into a team and we answered a bunch of trivia at the campus bar. I got all the questions about america right like the names of the atomic bombs, who the sons of liberty were, and jesse owens' name. But we still lost. my team was pretty dumb.
Afterwards more drinking games, dancing blah blah blah...
Today:
so schools starting really soon. A lot of kids are away at this place called "Efteling" which is like the Dutch Disneyland. I couldnt go though because i didnt have any money, an di got tons of fucking errands to run here. I still have yet to get used to living here, but i think its coming along. Soon comes the stress about school and money matters. So in truth i might get sent home for horrible academic performance or financial incapability. oh well, this entries way too long anyway.
till next time, keep your ear to the grindstone
-love davey
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| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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5:20 pm - Allo
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GREETINGS FROM HOLLAND (aka the Netherlands)
So much to say, so little time.
-I love this place, so much nice scenery, consisting of old classic style buildings green fields, stormy weather. theres been a lightning storm every day since ive been here.
-The people im meeting are great. They all speak english almost better than i do. lots of hot girls, i mean tons.
-WHAT KIND OF UNIVERSITY GIVES THEIR STUDENTS FREE BEER AND CHAMPAGNE!?!? theres been parties everywhere including up the ass.
-My school is an old old military base, so getting around to class is just as easy as figuring your way around a gated compound.
-My dorm room is big, roomy, and roomate free.
-While being intensly excited, im also scared shitless. I keeping feeling lost and stressed out about school. Being away from home wasnt as easy as i thought it would be. so i hope things get better later.
-I miss everyone, including the crew. thanks for being such great friends.
love davey
current mood: anxious
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